Does your relationship have trust issues? If you’re having issues in your relationship related to poor communication, negativity and unrealistic expectations, it’s possible that you or your partner has trust issues. It’s almost impossible to take a relationship to the next level if one person has trust issues. This is because that person won’t be able to make themselves vulnerable or extend themselves to the other person.
The unfortunate reality of trust issues in a relationship is that they can be incredibly difficult to overcome. Lack of trust stems from prior hurt and an ever-present fear of being hurt again. Some trust issues come from past intimate relationships, while others may go as far back as childhood and growing up in a dysfunctional family. In either case, they can damage every aspect of your life.
Prejudice and Self-Sabotage
When you have issues with trust, it’s easy to begin sabotaging yourself and your relationships. You will have an ongoing prejudice against other people and their potential to hurt you. Unfortunately, hypervigilance and constant suspicion can isolate you from having close friends or intimate partners. Feeling isolated and alone can chip away at your self-confidence and cause you to have social anxiety, which then leads to even more avoidance of other people.
It’s not always easy to self-identify trust issues, but one place where they can definitely show up is in an intimate relationship. If you feel like your relationship is struggling or not progressing, this could be the reason.
Let’s take a look at some signs of trust issues in a relationship.
10 Signs of Trust Issues
1. Assuming Betrayal Without Any Evidence
If you or your partner jump to the conclusion that the other is up to no good without any evidence of that, then this is one of the biggest signs of trust issues.
2. Trusting People Who Shouldn’t Be Trusted
It may seem counterintuitive, but it’s common for people with trust issues to irrationally trust people who are obviously not trustworthy. It’s a subconscious self-fulfilling prophecy where you try to prove to yourself that everyone is untrustworthy.
3. Trusting Blindly
Similar to the previous sign, this is an example of not understanding how trust works. Trust should be earned through a track record of trustworthy actions. People with trust issues sometimes trust blindly or too quickly, which is a form of denial.
4. Unwillingness to Share
Trust issues often cause people to be very guarded in what they share with others. They assume that other people will use their unguarded feelings against them.
5. Shallow Relationships
If you stop and think about your relationship, can you honestly say that it’s based on something deeper than infatuation or mutual interests? Trust issues often cause people to seek out shallow and superficial relationships that avoid deeper communication.
6. No Emotional Commitment
One of the most common symptoms of trust issues is a lack of emotional commitment. A person with trust issues believes that they will be betrayed eventually. This causes them to avoid any emotional attachment to their relationship or their partner.
7. Overreaction to Mistakes
If you or your partner react to genuine mistakes as major breaches of trust, then your relationship may have trust issues. For example, if your partner comes home late, and you immediately suspect that they’re cheating and consider it a major trust breach because they forgot to call you.
8. Others See You as Unforgiving or Hard to Please
Trust issues don’t just affect the person who has them. Your behavior is likely a reflection of these issues. When you find it hard to trust people, others will see you as simply difficult or hard to please.
9. Feeling Lonely or Outcast
When you don’t share your true self with others, it’s very common to feel lonely and isolated. If you feel like this in your relationship, then it probably means you don’t share enough with your partner, or it means that your partner isn’t sharing with you. In either case, it likely means that one person has trust issues.
It’s almost impossible to feel well-adjusted if you have trust issues. Instead, you may feel trapped in a world where you don’t belong.
Letting Go of Trust Issues
As previously mentioned, trust issues can be very difficult to overcome. Talking to a therapist can often be very helpful in this situation. You may feel more comfortable talking to a therapist about your trust issues because it’s in a professional setting. Difficulty trusting comes from the fear of being betrayed. Therapy puts you in a situation where this isn’t a threat.
Doctor Samuels is a Couples Therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in counseling damaged or struggling relationships. Talking to a therapist about your trust issues can help you resolve them and heal your relationship.